Today I remembered what I’d forgotten. Today I realised that I can be whoever I want to be, with time. Today I was reintroduced to my own values.
I keep getting lost and muddled with all the things I’m taking in from the world; it feels so confusing, so scary. I’m all alone here and somehow I have to pull myself up to sit on the expectations of everyone else. And when I can’t, I’m looked down upon. Everyone seems to have everything sorted-they know themselves, they know where they are going and they know what they need to do to get there. I’m still lost. Afraid of the dark. No helping hand.
I realised today that nobody but myself can change my situation.
I’m a dreamer. I’ve dreamt dreams but they’re all in conflict with each other and I don’t know which ones to choose. They all speak to me, inspire me but they add to my indecision and my confusion as to what I want to do with my life. It’s always been like this: one day I want to follow one and the next I follow another. I really, really want to be good at something. Right now I’m just mediocre at everything and I want to change that.
I just don’t know how.