Being Real

Today I remembered what I’d forgotten. Today I  realised that I can be whoever I want to be, with time. Today I was reintroduced to my own values.

I keep getting lost and muddled with all the things I’m taking in from the world; it feels so confusing, so scary. I’m all alone here and somehow I have to pull myself up to sit on the expectations of everyone else. And when I can’t, I’m looked down upon. Everyone seems to have everything sorted-they know themselves, they know where they are going and they know what they need to do to get there. I’m still lost. Afraid of the dark. No helping hand.

I realised today that nobody but  myself can change my situation.

I’m a dreamer. I’ve dreamt dreams but they’re all in conflict with each other and I don’t know which ones to choose. They all speak to me, inspire me but they add to my indecision and my confusion as to what I want to do with my life. It’s always been like this: one day I want to follow one and the next I follow another. I really, really want to be good at something. Right now I’m just mediocre at everything and I want to change that.

I just don’t know how.

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “Being Real

  1. Joy is now says:

    Omg welcome to the world of being a Scanner. It’s a term by Barbara Sher. She changed my life 3 months ago from you to me. I cried and cried when I read the description. Read Refuse to Choose. I will find and send you a link. Can I also recommend Inspired and Unstoppable by Tama Kieves which I am half way through now? I think these could change everything for you. You are OK, you are perfect and part of a community of us!!! It took me years to find but you got out there and asked and hopefully you have found a piece of the puzzle. Xx

  2. dottiechuck says:

    I totally understand your conflict. As as we want freedom of choice and options, those many options puzzle us as to which way we should go. 🙂

    • Thanks for your understanding:) I wish I just had one determined mindset instead of just flapping about everywhere *sigh* Or maybe it just comes down to being a jack-of-all-trades…

      • Joy is now says:

        That’s it. Jack of all trades, dilettante, we get called all sorts. We just learn super fast that’s all and once we have what we need we go to the next thing. We have what we came for. I started maths, economics and French A levels then switched French to Biology. Please check out http://www.scannerbees.com before I take it down. I put it up in a day then got bored and never looked at it again:)

      • Just checked this out. I believe I’m a born ‘scanner’. Will read the book:) This just makes me feel so much better about myself, thanks 😀

      • Joy is now says:

        Read the home page of http://www.scannerbees.com instead of the link I promised. Read the description. The one that made me cry was about a woman who has a couple of free hours so she goes to her garage to find a hobby and instead finds so many unstarted and unfinished hobbies. She gets overwhelmed because she can’t do them all and walks away in sadness instead of jumping in.

What do You think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s