Today I got another C grade for biology. Gutted after the hours of work I put in. I actually thought I was doing ok since the last time I got an A. I thought, almost expected, at least a B, even after I did no revision for this particular test-sure, I learned it but I didn’t revise it. And that’s another thing. I only got my last A after revising the evening prior to the test, before this I was continuously given C’s.

It’s not that I don’t try hard. I’m attentive in class: I take notes in class, notes from the textbook at home and usually understand the key points. But the difference between me and the people who got straight A’s last year is that they work, presumably, all the time. They work hard in class-but I guess everyone does that-and during their breaks I always see them in the library. Here, most of the people who use the library are science students. I’ve done that in the past and it didn’t affect my grade. It was only when I was determined to get a high grade for myself-not for my family or for an ego boost or for universities, just purely for myself-and I grabbed whatever means I had to reach that goal, did I get a good grade.

What I’m concerned about however, is that there was a person who did less revision than me (I only read through most of the first module while that person only did about two pages of the module) got a higher grade than me. It wasn’t just higher by a little difference but by a huge difference.

The excuse that keeps popping into my head is that ‘I just don’t do very well in these class tests but I’m more suited to the actual exams. I want to just destroy this excuse: these tests determine my target grade for the actual exam and it is by these little, seemingly pointless, milestones that I can get to the greener side.

I keep getting distracted by the things in my head; I just wish I was as focused as I once was. I wish I was still a straight-A student.


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