Why chocolate should be banned

So you’re out to shop, browsing the stacked shelves for that one prize. Your goal. Your meagre earnings spent on that one beautiful product: chocolate. As I was eyeing the food necessities placed cunningly in the face of an unassuming customer-me-in a long-overdue shopping trip with my mum, I kept coming across chocolate. Not just a few pieces in a small section, but displayed attractively in all but one aisle (the one with vegetables, obviously). So after that unneeded annoyance of trying feverishly to blackout the gorgeous devils from my range of sight, I came up with my top 6 reasons why chocolate should be ignored (*gasp*):

1. It looks horrible-is that really something you want to eat? Look at it-no, really look at it. It’s brown, dull and doesn’t appeal  to my senses (other than my taste buds, but even then it’s just the thought of it that makes me salivate and popular portrayal-not the actual junk).

2.The packaging: it deceives, poses environmental issues and is unfairly attractive to my salivary glands. Why make it so colourful and distractive to my vision when I obviously want nothing to do with it. Obviously it’s used for marketing purposes, however it’s popularised so much within stores-major and local-that I’m forced to see it and then engage in another internal battle why I can’t have it.

3. It might taste sweet but so do apples and watermelons. Why not substitute that unnatural junk for real food; you feel fuller, and you’re taking in fewer calories so can always gorge on other stuff later. Or, by eating chocolate, you’ve got to exercise more with a higher intensity than if you’d just eaten, say, a banana to maintain a good fitness level. Do you really have that time and energy?

 4. Cocoa farmers are paid ridiculously low wages!! Yeah, yeah I’ve heard that argument before… We have to buy chocolate so that cocoa farmers are paid. That’s just another excuse for your over-indulgence. And by buying that chocolate you’re actually supporting what these huge profit-making businesses do by hardly paying enough to live by. Even fairtrade-is it really enough for a family to thrive or just for it to survive?

5. Makes me crave more! Wonder why you’re addicted? Because of those addictive substances it contains of course! This leads to me consuming more food, which in turn leads to a much larger calorie intake than I can possibly use without vigorously exercising for 2 hours straight.

6. Spots/ Pimples. My friends-the typical teenage variety who constantly vandalise their bodies with chocolate-are always complaining about spots appearing on their faces. Sure, foundation can help but that’s just another lie. It’s true-their faces do adorn spots.

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